I didn’t know I was in a cult

Someone asked “what is your background in Christianity”… today this question brought up ‘just the facts’.  Today I didn’t feel like I was recounting the abuse of the church —- today it was just another page in my story… just the truth of it. A truth which doesn’t hurt me anymore.

That truth is… I was misled for many years, by my own biased belief of who God was (and how he showed up) that I found myself caught in a religious Christian cult.

What I know now is the start our environments shapes what we think we are inspired by. For example, when I was still a toddler, my parents allowed me to have a copy of ‘My Book of Bible Stories‘, a JW publication aimed to teach little ones about the Bible. The book was beautiful… golden, embossed, gold edged pages… I was in love. I didn’t know I was forming a bias even then; one that would cage me for a while.

I learned that maybe many cult members are UNAWARE they’re part of a cult, like I didn’t know. I found out when I became free. Getting free took a few years and a few tries—- but even so—- I knew ONLY when I was free, not before, nor during and not immediately after either.

When I finally became free, the first disheartening truth I learned was- I knew much of the doctrine of that religion and its cultish practices, and nothing at all of God. What devastated me more was— none of the doctrine were what the Bible actually said.

A simple misinformation that my past association with this doctrine is “The animals entered Noah’s ark- two of every kind”.

That is NOT what the Bible says, but this is what most of religion teaches – and so it is what most of us believe

Read Noah’s Ark: How many animals went in?

My freedom cost me a broken heart. I bled and no one noticed.

I began realizing how self contented / self important I was being by simply allowing OTHERS to design the truth of my faith.  I started questioning many of the traditions. Before long my heart left. After a time my body left.

My leaving meant losing many loved ones —- since I was ostracized for raising questions which rocked the doctrine for the lies it is…

I turned to Christ (eventually) and I was adamant that HE alone teach me.  This journey to Christ too took sometime. I’d felt like anything related to God was beyond me… and having been misled so long — I was terrified to trust another, lest I lose again.

Philippians 2:12 KJV

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

My old religion said Christ would (or could) never teach me, that I was crazy to even think so! They said I needed someone else to hear the word of God and relay it to me. Like the Popes do, and the Pastors, and the Imam’s and the Elders… everyone human like me, is chosen because of their title?

And I am more unworthy than they?

Philippians 2:9-10 KJV

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: [10] That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

God taught me His name, His purpose, His will and what I needed most was His truth. I began healing—- slowly, and with much fight. I dared Him to be just good. No legal restrictions of religion, no hustler of coin, I dared Him to be as good as he says he tastes.

— my experience makes me question (in prayer and with the Bible), any ‘truth’ that is the most widely accepted by religious doctrine —-. I am patient for the answer. My past gave me ready-set answers and none of them can stand up under scriptural scrutiny.

While I do not disbelieve all popular “Christian” teachings- I do line each one up against the word of God and patiently allow God to guide me to the truth- outside of my bias, outside of my ego.

Working outside of myself (innate biases and imperfect ego) takes sometime —- but Jesus teaches his own… if we knock, if we ask.

Jesus did not call his elect ‘Christians’. He called us sheep. Christians leave much to be desired— but His sheep… we know we are weak. We know that without Him, we cannot do anything.

Psalm 100:3,5 KJV

Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. [5] For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.